What I become after losing a beloved one

I wrote this post some days back.... it was just in the draft and today is the best day to post as I am marking two years since the lost of my beloved one!!!

I know everyone has their own experience after losing  their beloved one and as we struggle to recover from such hard time in life so many things may happen in between, most of behavior may arise some of them are not under our own control but it’s just because we are in transition of letting go

My experience was not an easy after the lost of my fiancé, if you read my blog you would have read my post HERE, I wrote this post dedicating everything towards myself and the current situation I had at that time. I would not like to talk much about that post rather today I would like to let it out on the behaviors that I know I generate after the lost….. These are just some that I can easily identify myself I don’t know those behaviors that I can’t see them.... Here they are

I become jealous out of nothing; I can’t help it but feel jealous out of nothing at all!!!  I feel like my fellows have more than I and I think if that person was around I could be in a position of having it or you could be the same as them. I would also feel jealous if I see coupes around and I would like to see yourself in that position too

I become insecure; yes its true “insecure” If I stay in group of people I would feel like I am the only one who is missing something or I am the only one has lost someone close at that time. I could be insecure of avoiding some discussions too

This is too bad but it is true, I would like to talk about my lost!!!  I could finish an hour or two discussing about that. I don’t know why may be because it is a relief when I talk about that

I compare, I try to compare what I had and what I current have……. I may put a comparison table even to a new relationship because that was not something that I expected to lose at that time then you feel like they still exist. **** Though I don't have a right to compare people because everyone comes in life with there own blessings****

I was in movement Struggle finding replacement, sometimes I would feel like there is something missing and to cover the gap is the only solution, so I would try to find and engage myself in new activities for the satisfaction

I struggled and I am still struggling with this lose, But I thank God for the improvements I have so far.... That's it for today

Please don't hesitate to share with me some of your experience

Thank you for stopping by

Cheers

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What I become after losing a beloved one